I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
