Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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