P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize