think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
