i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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