how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
