Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
