the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
