four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
