Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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