Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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