just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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