The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
