What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just saw a hot homeless man
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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