Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
