clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize