p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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