what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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