i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
