you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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