So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
