32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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