people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
