On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
