Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
