Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
