he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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