the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
