the new term for farting is butt boxing.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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