SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he shaved USA in his pubs
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
