we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
