I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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