i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
