you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
