i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
