i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
