he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
