I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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