there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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