have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
