this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
