people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
