So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
