I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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