The maid of honor just puked.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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