A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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