Me too!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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