we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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