I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
