hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
