You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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