she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
