Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
