it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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