can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
