So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
