Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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