no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
