I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
