The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
